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Episode #012 - January 27, 2003

Dildos have been around forever, but the Chinese came up with a novel sex toy around 1200 AD called the "Happy Ring". It was made from the eyelid of a goat with the eyelashes intact. First, it was cured like leather, and then wrapped around the penis like a cockring. During intercourse, the long eyelashes reached far enough to stimulate the clitoris. Women loved it, men loved it - apparently, the only one who objected was the goat.

It took some feat of ingenuity to design this complicated vibrator. Called the Lilac Lover, it is 7 inches long, has 5 levels of rotation, it is heavy and awkward, and it certainly is powerful. I guess this is what NASA scientists do in their spare time. It has a huge soft phallic head with grooves and nubs, now that's useful. Then there is the sculpted lion which has 5 independent levels of vibration, so his chin hairs are supposed to pulsate on the clitoris or wherever. This lion has a magnetic connection, so you can take it off and apply it anywhere within a 3 foot radius. Powered by only 4 AA batteries, put 2 beaters in here and we could whip up a batch of cookies. My testers liked it, but they did not have to pay for it, so, on the HOT STUFF HIBACHI OF LOVE, we're giving this baby 3 briquets.

Sue's Mini Review Everybody fantasizes and sometimes it gets boring, so here is a great book of erotica suitable for men and women. THE MAMMOTH BOOK OF NEW EROTICA, Carroll & Graf Publishing, is a collection from well known writers such as Anne Rice & Leonard Cohen. A grand TOTAL OF 572 pages of amazing, sexy stories. Get a copy for you and one for your mother-in-law.