Episode #002 - November 10, 2002

Sex in History

Cat bone amuletWell, here's a birth control method that I can just about guarantee didn't work.

In the Middle Ages, European women would wear an amulet of a bone taken from the right side of a totally black cat. I'll tell ya, all this would have controlled is the local black cat population.

Another popular amulet contained the bones and testicles of a weasel. Weasels were understandably miffed about this form of birth control, particularly males.

People relied on all sorts of spells and rituals in an effort to conjure up contraception. One of the weirdest involved a woman walking three times around the spot where a pregnant wolf had urinated. Those spots are tough to find – hey, we tried it in Kenora – and it probably was just a good excuse for the wife to vanish from the hovel until her husband fell asleep.
Items courtesy Janssen-Ortho Museum of Contraception, Toronto

Hot Stuff Sex Toy

Impulse 5 VibratorHey, we've got yet another sequel - ROBOSUCK 2. Once again, I don't know how we missed ROBOSUCK 1, but never mind.

On the back of the box, the marketing department came up with this: "It sucks. It strokes. It vibrates. Any more, you'd need a license to operate it." They should have added that you'll need a sound-proof room to run it in. The neighbors are going to think you're drilling for oil in your bedroom. You won't want to be using this while you're sleeping over at your mother-in-law's house.

It's designed to simulate oral sex on a man's penis. The penis goes into this latex sleeve which is lined with nubs for more stimulation. Then, there's a ring on the interior that is adjustable. You move it to the head of the penis for maximum pleasure. Then, you turn it on, and the ring moves the sleeve and your penis up and down. Basically, it masturbates you - noisily. Plus it has a vibrator, just in case you haven't broken the sound barrier yet.

It takes 4 "C" batteries and the variable speed control sort of works. You need a lot of lubrication on the penis to get it into the sleeve comfortably. According to our tester, the hardest part is cleaning the damn thing out. The sleeve is not removable and water gets into the interior making a real mess.

I'm afraid that ROBOSUCK 2 is getting one measly briquet on our "Hibachi of Pleasure" - and that's mainly as a piece of sculpture. Save your money. Use your hand. It's cheaper - and quieter.

Sue's Book Review

This is not a "how to have a cataclysmic orgasm" book. SENSUAL SEX by Beverly Engel, is about pleasuring by touch, intimacy and communications. That's the best way to perk up your sex life. It was published by Hunter House in 1999, but is still great reading for those in a long term relationship.