Episode #058 - May 30 , 2004

Hot Stuff Sex Toy

Some of the TOP TEN The hot stuff bag is just a bulging and a jumping tonight. These are the best toys that we have reviewed this season, all of them getting a sizzling 3 or 4 briquets. So, let's dig in...

Guys would never need a kit like this, but the “MASTURBATION JUMP-START KIT” is a must for females who have difficulty reaching orgasm. Everything is here, vibrators, lubes and instruction book. Have fun.

Never let it be said we left the guys out, and the guys on the crew felt I had been too hard on this toy the first time around - the GRAND PRIX STROKER PUMP. They say it's noisy but feels great. Now the Customs Inspector will sure as hell know what this is for, and if you are lucky enough to have a female inspector, she just might volunteer to help you out.

Both males and females will enjoy ARIAS DISCREET PLEASURIZER, a versatile massager that fits in the palm of your hand - use lots of lube for maximum sensations.

Folks at the sex store tell me that the IMPULSE SPELLBOUND VIBRATOR is one of their best sellers, and my testers were impressed. And it glows in the dark, so you won't lose it in the tangle of sheets.

Called AUDI OH, it is truly unique. A clitoral stimulator fits around the hips keeping the butterfly in place. That's not news, but this is - it looks like a pager, but it is a battery operated microphone that responds to pulsating music, either on the dance floor or from your CD player. Or it will just vibrate to your own satisfied moans. It's an innovative new toy for the digital age.

At the other end of the technology spectrum, we have SMART BALLS. These are cute, weighted ben wah balls. The package touts them as a genital gymnasium for women.

For the guys, there's the BLUEBERRY TART. Slide your lubricated penis in the tube, and turn on the battery operated control for a sensation that's very much like anal sex. Cheap, cheery and easy to clean.

Here's another kit, one for either sex - the "BACKDOOR KIT FOR BEGINNERS". It's got everything you need for anal exploration, including the Sinclair Institute's excellent instructional DVD “The Better Sex Guide to Anal Pleasure”. Buying a kit is a lot cheaper than buying the items individually, and you know me – cheap, cheap, cheap! So this is a great buy. (NOTE - This product is available only at distinctivetoys.net)

The MARY MERMAID is a first-class vibrator for females. Designed in Germany, it just screams quality, the way you will be screaming as you use it for vaginal and clitoral stimulation.

And last but not least, there's the newly engineered MINI-TONGUE. The previous version of this was big and stupid, but this smaller version with its soft cyberskin exterior will keep you smiling for hours.

That's our TOP TEN but we wanted to give an Honorable Mention to the one item we got more emails about that any other toy this year – the CLONE-IT KIT. Apparently guys were just itching for a product to come along that let them make copies of their penises. I guess it's a guy thing. Hey, whatever.


Sue's Mini Review

For all my callers - and all my viewers - who have asked 'How do you perform oral sex on a female?', here's the book for you - SHE COMES FIRST by Ian Kerner, published by Regan Books. If your partner needs a bit of help in the technique department, do him, and yourself, a favour and get him this book.