[ Talk Sex Message Board ]
No sex
Posted by S. on May 04, 2008 at 06:44:35:
My wife and I have been married for 8 years. We want to have children, but
so far have had 2 miscarriages and now have not gotten pregnant in 4 years.
The problem is I love my wife but we no longer have sex. It is May 1 and we
have had sex only once this year. When I ask her about it she says she has
no interest in sex. It dosen't help that when we do have sex I last about
45 seconds to a minute before I egaculate. Which gives no pleasure to her.
I always help her come to an orgasm manually though. I know Sue has
mentioned going to a sex therapist. We live in a small town and there is no
such person around and I am sure my wife would not go anyway. I would love
to have more sex with my wife. Please help. What should I do.
Webmaster Reply:
You know, when I read a note like yours, I think of how isolated people can feel in a relationship. Many people feel that way, and, although I understand how this isolation develops, I always find it sad. Couples need to work at a relationship, and that means staying connected. You went into this marriage as a team. You need to reconnect with that spirit. You both want children - that is your team goal, and you need to work towards it together. She is probably feeling as isolated as you do. Perfect grounds for an honest discussion. You may not have access to a therapist, but you do have access to a doctor. Get fertility tests. You want to last longer during sex. Follow the usual procedures for Premature Ejaculation, and even talk with the doctor about medication. None of this will happen unless you work together. So, rather than feeling isolated and alone, get pro-active. Work on the intimacy, discuss your hopes for the future - just reconnect. There's an excellent book you should buy - "Getting the Love You Want" by Harville Hendrix. Start there.Randy