[ Talk Sex Message Board ]
Faking Orgasms....
Posted by S. on May 11, 2008 at 06:56:30:
Hi,
My name is S. and I've been in a committed relationship for about 7 months now. At the beginning of relationships I'm always very shy, so when my guy wants to start fooling around, I always let him take the lead. It started as me giving him hand jobs and him fingering me. It was then that I made the mistake of faking an orgasm just to make him happy...I didn't want to have sex yet and I felt that if I didn't have an orgasm, he would have provoked actual sex. So once I started faking, he thought he knew what he was doing, and me being too shy to speak up, obviously just made for a boring time for me. Well it took us over a month to actually have sex but of course when we did, he thought he knew how to please me and I continued to think that if I didn't play along, he would be frustrated with me, figure out that I had been lying to him, and break up with me. We now have sex on a regular basis and I fake EVERY TIME. I HATE lying to him because I love him and I only lie to him about this. I love the intimacy of our sex but I'm never even close to orgasm by the time we're done. The combination of the fact that I'm so shy and that he cums within minutes of having sex makes it very difficult to confront him. He also doesn't like giving oral...I don't mind giving it, but the idea of him going down on my before sex can't even be tried. I love almost everything else about our relationship though (obviously enough to give up good sex for). I know that if he found out I was faking, he would be crushed that I would lie to him, not trust me with anything else and break up with me... so I'm forced to keep faking. Is there any way out of this that doesn't involve me admitting to him that I fake?! My initial shyness with him has snowballed into something that has the potential to ruin our relationship.... Thank you very much for any advice or help with this....
Webmaster Reply:
What can I say? You know what you have to do, and that is fess up. Otherwise, you could be looking at the next 20 years of faking it. Relationships are built on intimacy, and intimacy requires honesty. If he feels as strongly about you are you do about him, then discussing this in an honest, open way is not going to destroy the relationship. In fact, it will strengthen it. But, if his male ego is so wobbly (i.e. selfish) that he doesn't care about helping you to achieve a more satisfying sex life, well then I say good riddance to him. You don't need to give him ALL the details - i.e. "I've been faking right from the start." Just explain that, generally, you are not achieving orgasm but have not wanted to disappoint him. He will see your motives were kind. How can he not respond to that?Randy