Pregnancy and Sex

A positive pregnancy test signals a lot of changes are on the way. First-time parents in particular may wonder about how pregnancy will affect their sexual relationship. Should sex be put on hold? It seems drastic, but then you think of all the old wives tales you've heard.

You want to know if sex will hurt the baby. If the pregnancy is normal, there is no way that can happen. In the earliest stages, that little embryo is firmly implanted in the menstrual lining of the uterus. Normal intercourse is safe and harmless. For the first three months, doctors recommend normal sex – the wild stuff might have to go on hold for a while. If you have a history of miscarriage, also called spontaneous accidental abortion, or if there is any "spotting", or bleeding, then you should abstain from sexual intercourse or orgasm for the first three months. However, this doesn't mean you cannot pleasure your partner.

After three months in a threatened pregnancy, you can have subdued sex until the last three months. And then, no sex, because an orgasm with uterine contractions might trigger premature labour. In a normal pregnancy, sex will not harm the baby.

Some couples feel that the baby can see them having sex. No way - baby can't see a thing.

Some males feel differently about sex when their partner is pregnant. She will be the mother of his child, almost like a Madonna, and you don't have sex with a Madonna.

Many males find their pregnant partner to be very sexy. Some find they are not attracted to the changing body. Some pregnant women bloom, they love their body. But I've also known women who covered every mirror in the house because they felt big and awkward, with dark nipples, stretch marks, bulging belly button and varicose veins.

Some women find they are more interested in sex when they are pregnant. Others find sex intrusive and don't want to be touched. Do talk to your doctor about these feelings.

And couples should talk with each other about their feelings. Realize that some of these changes are temporary and that once the baby has arrived, you can work on getting back your beautiful body.

There is a great new book out - THE MOTHER'S GUIDE TO SEX by Anne Semans and Cathy Winks, published by Three Rivers Press. Give it to a new mother at a baby shower.