Premature Ejaculation

Therapists have decided to refer to premature ejaculation as "ejaculatory incompetence". Given my druthers, I think premature ejaculation (PE) sounds better. Who wants to be incompetent? Kids call it "shooting too fast". Trust kids to call it as they sees it.

"My boyfriend cums after two strokes" is not an uncommon comment. Young males become so sexually aroused so quickly, touch their hand and they have an erection. This is very flattering for his partner, but not very satisfying for a sexual relationship

What can a young guy do? Well there are a few very simple things that will help:

First, he can masturbate before he goes out with his partner. This will reduce the expectation that he must be a great lover with an ever-ready penis. Then he will be able to last longer.

Understanding male sexual responses helps. If a guy ejaculates quickly, he is going to lose his erection, and this "refractory phase" will last about 20 minutes in a young male. There is absolutely nothing either of them can do to trigger another erection. But, let's make use of that time. He can spend that 20 minutes stimulating her, whispering sweet nothings, kissing, snuggling, cuddling, hugging, petting, stimulating breasts and genitals orally. 20 minutes of that stimulation and she will be very sexually aroused and he'll have another erection, and "ain't nobody gonna stop him now".

Another obvious option for young males is to use thick condoms. This dulls the sensitivity of the penis, helping him to last longer.

As a male ages, his refractory phase is longer. Learning the "squeeze technique" will help to delay ejaculation.

Many males learn to control ejaculation by practicing "KEGEL EXERCISES" on a regular basis. Kegels may be found on this web site.

There are creams and sprays available at sex stores. These are supposed to numb his penis, so he will be less aroused and eager to ejaculate. Many men swear by these creams. I do have a concern. These creams usually contain Lidocane, a topical anaesthetic. Fine and good, but if he uses it then puts a condom on, there is concern that it will weaken the condom. If he does not use a condom, some of this cream will rub off his penis during intercourse, and may numb her vagina. Again, do talk to your partner to check for reactions.

Women often feel that they should be able to do something to "help" him. Basically, this is his problem, and he needs to solve it himself. You can talk to him about it and lessen the expectation that he must sexually satisfy you every time. You can satisfy yourself, or you can teach him how to stimulate and satisfy you in ways other than penis in vagina intercourse. This reduces the pressure on him, helps him relax, and he has some sense of control.